3...2....1...Go

Okay, here it goes....this is my first blog ever.....I'm blogging to document my trials and tribulations as a cross fitter, mom, and coach....This should be at the very least, mildly interesting.  Let's just go ahead and put this out there.  I did not start doing crossfit to lose weight.  I have for the most part been small for most of my life.  I stopped growing in the 7th grade for crying out loud.  I mean that's not awkward right? So I'm used to being the "small" girl.  The "tiny" girl.  hearing the "Look at how tiny you are" "She's so little" and the ever famous.."I hate you" Awesome..all of them, really....I went through high school as a 95 pound, blonde, petite, tan, dancer.  This sounds like a blessing right?  Well it all depends on where you grew up...or what your social status is...I happened to live by myself on the West Side of Phoenix in an empty apartment raising my sister.  Being a small girl wasn't exactly awesome......It was a weakness.  I hated it.  I hated the fact that everyone looked at me like I was some fragile object.  So I started running track and lifting weights.  I loved that I was able to lift more than other people.  Able to run faster than people thought.  I learned that I LOVED proving people wrong.  It became my obsession.  Someone told me I couldn't do something...Boom...I went out and killed myself until I did it.  Nobody puts baby in the corner dammit!  So after High School I set out to conquer my biggest challenge yet....I joined the Army...yeah that's right...the Army...this was a brilliant idea....lets join the Army.  Leave behind everyone and everything you know because you want to prove you are a badass...I may have taken this a step too far.  I found that out when the side of my face was covered with spit from some dude in a big hat yelling about me drinking water with an attitude.  Is that even possible?  Apparently it is.  Anyway, in the Army I had plenty of opportunities to prove myself...and prove myself I did...Over and Over and Over...Until I was that tiny Bitchy Drill Sergeant making the new recruits miserable....Okay...enough with the back story...lets get to here and now...How did we get to crossfit? What made me decide to join this quote on quote cult full of crazy sock wearing bacon eaters?  The Socks of course!!!  No...it's more than that.  It's about being able to push myself past my limits.  Yes I am small....but being small isn't the best place to be.  I don't like being small.  I like being strong.  I like being able to lift more than the person next to me. I want to be able to RX all of the WOD's.  Most of the people in the sport are 135 plus so I have some catching up to do.  I max out at a 195 pound deadlift and these girls are repping out 200-300+ IT PISSES ME OFF!!!  It pushes me to try harder.  I love that and I hate that.  My friends, God love them, will say Erika you are so strong, You are so lucky that you are so skinny.  Am I lucky?  It's not luck...I have to work hard everyday to be this way.  I will watch my friends post pictures of their dinners, their cakes, their desserts, and see their descriptions of it and think..That's not paleo, That has so much gluten.  Does that mean that I don't want it?!  Hell NO!!!  I'd kill a bastard for a cupcake!!!  But I know I can't give in!!!  IT SUCKS.  I will see my daughter eat a cookie and not see the cookie...but the sugar and what it will do to the work I just put in...I will decline invites to go out drinking because I know I have to go to the gym and I know it will destroy my efforts.  This all may seem crazy....But I have worked hard to get to this point and I don't want to go back.  I don't want to be that small, weak, little girl I used to be.  Don't give up what you want, for what you want right now.  I want to be able to RX my WOD's...If Dave the Damn Dream Crusher would slow the EFF down with the whole increasing of the weights....bastard.  I mean really dude....can you let me get at least one in before you raise it.....this man is sadistic...I don't know why I go back everyday.  I mean I get my ass handed to me, I tear my hands up, I can't get dressed for three days after and yet I go back...everyday...If I miss a day I freak out....Like a meth addict....insane I tell you...Crossfit...it's a drug...drink the kool-aid...AHHHHHH....ok.  Recently I added 4 new members to the cult...I love that they all have the desire to be strong and not skinny.  I love helping people reach their goals...Best part?  None of them asked to be a size zero.  None of them asked for quick fix.  All of them are willing to put in the work...It's a journey people...You can either spend your time catching your breath during the long march ahead...or you can spend your time taking it all in.....